On my way to Trenton, NJ.

I am sitting on the train with no music no, movies nothing. I have no headphones so all the things that I would normally do on my laptop, I cant. therefore writing seems to be better than nothing right now. it is Sunday and I am on my way to new jersey; a place I have not been to in almost two years, probably even longer. I don’t know why I feel so nervous inside but I do. these are the only people who don’t typically judge me or have anything negative to say to me. so why do I feel like three will be talking about me for days. I hope that is not the case. in two years or since they have last seem me I have gained a significant amount of weight. all my life this has been an issue for me. people telling me how I am supposed to look or I need to lose weight but at the biggest I have ever been in my life, I am happy, I am also healthy, no high blood pressure cholesterol nothing. I just hope that this trip will turn out positive and not as negative as these thoughts in my head. we just left dc so in 2 and a half hours I will be in no other place than Trenton new jersey.