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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bleed Heart

bleeding heart of a dying love
i need you
often worshipped you
my love
as my king
who you deserved to be
i adore you
like my fave things
often i close my eyes
with the desires of you
on my mind
and deep within my soul
i yearn for you to be in me
love isn't a good word
because these feelings are deeper
come here daddy
i need you
the thought of those beautiful lips
drive me crazy
but what i see in you
you don't see in me
and i hate it
thinking of ways to convince you
to make me your lady
debating
like
should i just walk away
give up on these feelings
within me
or continue until your convinced
convinced i am the woman of your dreams
the one who you need
the girl
trapped so deep in your heart
that its her you breath

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Beautiful

I was beautiful when I was in your arms

feeling your smooth skin

feeling warm

cozy and vibrant

I was beautiful when you looked at me with those eyes

the warmed id ever seen

the gaze of lust you shared

we shared

but I was beautiful

I was beautiful when I was in your presence

or when I talked to you

I was beautiful when we were apart

because my mind thought of you

I was beautiful when I was lonely

the Pisces mind dreamed of you

no matter what I did

I was beautiful because you loved me...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Want You To Myself

I cant love you like I want you

kiss you like I want to

confide in you like I want to

ride for you like I want to

I cant treat you like you're mine

I have to share you

I cant fuss at you

be mad at you

I have to let you be

let you do your thing

let you live your life

let you chose your wife

I cant console you like I want to

tell you your wrong when you think you're right

I cant do these things

your not mines

and I'm not yours

so

I pretend the flirting is cool

and that it doesn't bother me

I pretend that I'm a patient person

and I really believe your gonna come to me

I pretend this smile is real

and that I jus wanna see you happy

when

I want you happy with me

loving me

bragging about me

telling them hoes about me

me

me

me

and I know we don't always get what we want

I taken that into consideration

but fuck it when it comes to them jawns

I'm truly hating

don't want to rush a relationship

I just want you to myself

FALLEN FOR YOU

I try not to think of you

blocking you out of my memory

forgetting the way we kissed

or the way you used to touch me

I swear I'm in love with you

or

its the closet I've ever been

watching myself go through the motions

when all I wanna do is win your heart

what do you do

when the man you love

is not running to be with you

consistent nights of missing you

only to realize that its not mutual

I need you

like the way I breathe this air

I hate to share

thinking bout the many girls on you

even though I shouldn't care

and I cant help it

kuz it hurts

forcing myself to put this wall up

but with you its so hard

I am 100 percent vulnerable

ready to be at your command

ready to be submissive to you

I apologize

for being this thirsty

for being so easy

for being nothing like any other girl

but

I love you

and I'm not afraid to say it

you got me all the way fallen for you...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This is Where I Fell In Love

I used to look into those eyes to find comfort

softest I've ever seen n life

I think that’s where I fell in love

softest kisses to the most beautiful lips ever

I still giggle like a kid

to think that the most beautiful man

is right here before me

the touch of yah beautiful hands on my body

sends the moistest sensation down to my labia's

trying not to be shy around you

mimicking things I've seen on TV

did I tell you it was like my first time

the most beautiful conversations

coming from the sweetest voice id ever heard

your so melodic

the rhythm of yah words sends vibrations through my chest

so maybe this is where I fell in love

the softest moans

escaped from my lips

our bodies connected like

we were made for each other

when I touch you

I'm happy

the way my heart skips every other beat

and how sometimes I forget to breath around you

damn I want you forever

if I could make you immortal

I would

holding on this your beauty in the palm of my hand

and never letting go


Monday, July 25, 2011

A Letter To My Fave Man

I want you in my life for a long time, needless to say I don’t think you're gonna be around for too much longer and it hurts my heart. So many people love you and we all pretty much feel the same, but no one feels like I do. You are the air I breathe, my rock the sun to my galaxy there is no me without you. Your presence defines my existence. You were the first boy I fell in love with, someone told me my father was supposed to be the first man I fell in love with but nope it was you. Whenever I am down you know just how to make me smile. There have been plenty of disappointments in our lives but when everyone else turned their backs I could ALWAYS look up to see you there. Sometimes I list you right next to god, not saying that you are equal to him but you are just as important in my life, number 2 just doesn't sound good for you so I say god is number one and you are number one in a half! I need you man and it scares me, because I do not know how my life would be if there were no you. I would not be able to live! Promise me that you will do the best that you can with yah life with your heath because I need you in my life for years and years to come. This is why think I am a writer!

I am not a poet

I can not make up poems from the dome

or recite In front of a crowd

I do not attend poetry slams or jams

nor do I have a rhythm when I write

so I am not a poet

I love to free write

and make words fit together

or

create imeragy in my head

but I am not a poet

I have not written books

or started one

I am not a fan of any other poets

I don't want to be like Maya Angelou

or Langston Hughes

because I am not a poet

I do not compete with others on face book

or share my writings on my blogs all the time

I am very sub conscience

but this is because I am not a poet

I have entered my work on poetry.com

and thought I won

I have awoken in the middle of the night to write my thoughts

I don't write In notebooks

because I am not a poet..

I just like to write

I do not want to be organized

nor ashamed of any topics

I refuse to limit myself

and not make mistakes

I will be famous one day

but I chose to take my time

I am not inspired but other people

only myself because

I am not a poet..

I am a WRITER...

Never really appreciated hip hop in its entirety until the radio began playing music that I didn’t personally care for. It was then that I realized that just like when my parents were younger hip hop is changing, yet I don't necessarily like the change. We are living in a time where sucky lyrics over a hot beat or a song bout partying will sell over the song that's about social change. I never really appreciated the great pioneers until these new era lil wayne fans began calling him the GREATEST RAPPER ALIVE, when there are legends like jay z nas eminen dre and so on still alive. Its not my job to change any ones opinion but what is it that you are really basing your opinion on? Lil wayne fans say that lil wayne is the greatest, and thats fine because he is truly talented. However, how many of these lil wayne fans knew the lil wayne before the young money era? Before hot boys? How many of them know that baby and manny fresh were writing most of his earlier songs or that he had other ghost writers. Not that many. So how are you a fan? I am laughed at because I am a die hard Bow Wow fan and according to a lot of people he is not a hip hop artist. However, how many rappers to date have been in the game for 15 years and are still in their primes? How many rappers have successfully made the transition from a child star to an adult star? From rapper to actor? From rapper to entrepreneur. All I'm saying is before you sleep on Shad Gregory Moss, respect his hustle and his ambition as an artist. I love hip hop when it was used to tell the world how the inner city kids were feeling. When hip hop was used as a platform to bringing communities together. I miss hip hop when it was more educational than it was provocative. I remember when hip hop artists did not have to sell their souls to the industries to become famous or for their music to be heard. But we get artist like wiz nicki and wale who have been underground and are basically forced to change who they are to become mainstream. I remember when I did not have to go to mixtape websites to hear a good cd. I miss those days. But I also thank today's hip hop for helping me to appreciate the hip hop that I grew to love the sub conscious writers like mos def tribe called quest and common. To great legends like tupac biggie and nas. Thank you mainstream America for helping me show my love to the beautiful hip hop! This is why I think I am a writer!

You're Beautiful


I've never called a man that before

but its the truth

closing my eyes

trying to remember you

yah lips

those freckles

your fragrance

I know I love you

placing my hand over a broken heart

you help me to mend it

shivering

remembering these kisses to my neck

my back

my butt

giggling

you make me go deeper

into myself

pouring out a self worth I never knew existed

you spoil me

with yah presence

because

you're beautiful

What an u waiting for

Blurry visions of a man that I like

cute with the pretty eyes

I see him in my dreams

doesn’t even have to be when I sleep

I picture him when im walking down the street

basically when im doing anything

see he's always on my mind

my little king

I been crushin on him like a lil school girl

checking his facebook

wondering if he ever tweets of me

picturing us holding hands, kissing

the lil romantic things

even as I think about it now I smile

I cant help but to blush when im around him

damn he make me all mushy

and I HATE

cause I haven’t felt this way In a long time

sometimes I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me

because my heart will remember what he said

then my mind will say he's lying to me

what am I to do?

If there wasn’t room for potential

I wouldn’t be wasting my time

but is it mutual?

Here I go beating myself over the head for a man

gods marvelous creatures

who are so simple and yet so complex

I wanna know what your thinking

and I hate that you dont tell me

I hate that you talk to other girls

when you should be giving all yah time to me

I tell myself to be patient

you waited this long to meet him

you can wait more to have him

so tell me my patience are not in vain

when people see you

I want then to know my name

yeah thats Quin's man

or thats _____ girl

I know I over analyze things so that will forever be my downfall

I just want to know

what are you waiting for

sigh

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

too focused on money

What if we lived in a world where money did not exist? The way we got what we needed was us working for it like we did now. We would all get payed on the amount of physical work we did as well as the importance of the occupation. Athletes would not get paid more than doctors, actually any sport would be just recreational it would be volunteer to go pro. There would be no such thing as famous people. Everyone would be equal. We would still have a democracy with a president but he will not get paid for sitting on his ass, he too would have to physically work for his position. I say this to pretty much say we have let money define us. Money is the way we live. If you are broke no one wants anything to do with you. What happened to looking within someone? “Imagine me living in a world with no insecurities and im finally happy can you imagine me.” That kirk franklin song comes to mind as I sit here asking myself what do I look for in a man, I should be asking a man what does he look for in me. I jus wish we lived in a society where money and beauty wasn't above brains and personality. A world where ignorance was not bliss and people actually thought about the things they said to other people. I hope im alive to see the wold like this SOME DAY. This is why I think I am a writer.

one kiss

Warm sensations

from the lip to the spine

school girl giggles and

blood rushing to the pelvic area

one kiss

sweet

lustful

innocent

exotic

erotic

sexy in a sense

shivers taking over the body

goosebumps forms on the outside of the skin

one touch

vibrations penetrating the brain

triggering sensory sensations

to every part of the body

sweet moans

me gusta papi

yo quiero un beso mami

making sweet music

with every thrust

trust

forceful yet gentle thrusts

slowly

slowly

deep

and it feels

as sweet as a kiss to the collar bone

as gentle as a baby’s bottom

as right as a right turn

and it began with

one kiss


Fuck looking for Love

Looking for someone to love you, for you, seems to be as hard as finding the queen ant in a million ants. Sometimes, I sit and ask myself am I looking for love or is it something deeper than that? I almost had love, I believe. One time, when I was 18, I lived with a man whom I thought I loved, and thought loved me back. Somewhere in that year and a half we were together the communication was skewed and this love seemed to be real dangerous. I decided to let him go, he hated me, but I hated myself for not leaving sooner. No one should have to put up with verbal abuse, and we were verbally abusive to each other, so maybe we were bad for each other. I still think about him now, almost 3 years later. Sometimes I ask myself the infamous question, what if?!? Then I have to stop myself, and Beyonce's irreplaceable comes to mind, particularly the part that goes, “you must not know about me you must not know bout me, I can have another you in a minute matter face he'll be here any minute baby.” I identify with the hook because I think as young women we beat ourselves up! This is our prime! These are the years we are supposed to be ENJOYING life, not stressing over the next niggah and I use that word in its correct tense! So next time I find myself looking for LOVE I will remember my worth and remember that I don’t need to chase love because my god got me! This is why I think I am a writer!

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Memories

all i have left are memories

the blood that drips from my broken heart

is fresh

healing no time soon

i tape it with duct tape and band aids

swabbing it with cotton swabs

looking in the mirror at a beautiful face

etched into confusion

pain

looking hurtful

looking in the corner of the eye where tears once formed

im all dried up

matted hair at the top of my head

wish i could put a comb to it

but your gone

and you were the only one who mattered

the only one able to make this frown

turn into that smile that was once beautiful

the girl that was once boastful

hinders guilt inside her soul at all the people who were cut off

for you

the friends that turned to enemies

the associates who hate me

time wasted

of beautiful lies and

hopeful promises

which only ended up being labeled deceit

the pitiful things you told me

thinking i was your future

when i was only the next bitch

bitch

a word i would never call myself

and now somehow defines me

a positive situation baring the heat of hell

and all i have left are the memories...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dating Quintasha

These last couple of days my heart has been aching with love. I want to pour it out but as I look around I see no one worthy of it. IM not depressed, not unhappy, just looking for someone to love me. Funny, I always talk about how I want love and I want a relationship, God is so good that he puts certain things in your path to kind of intervene. I was listening to lose myself by Marsha Ambrosius, this time actually LISTENING to her words ahe says, "Couldn't tell me I was in love when I needed it
When, all I ever wanted was love. Should a told me I was worth receiving it But all I ever wanted was love" and something in me snapped. I am capable of loving anyone but too many times I have "loved" people only to be disappointed, only to wind up hating them when the day before we were just in love. I have realized that I was giving love and giving all of myself to my relationships but I wasn't receiving love. i was allowing myself to be drained yet who was loving Quintasha! It is selfish to say that no one loves me but until I tell myself that I am WORTHY of love lonely is how I will always feel. Although I do want a relationship and would like to fall in love, I realize that I need to date ME. I need to love on myself, and compliment myself so when it comes time to love the next person I can love them and I can recognize if they are returning the love. I will tell myself that I am worthy of love.. and this is why I think I am a wri
ter!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Poetry

you are my lover
the air i breathe
the dream i dream
you are the mate
to my soul
the one who i'm supposed
to look for
but you always been there
today
you're relevant
today i need you
you are the bones
within my skin
the organs within
a confidant
more than a best friend
i couldn't live
without you
you are the calm
to my storm
oh how i yearn for you
in my sleep
i lust for you
in my dreams
in reality
you are all i need!

You're Beautiful

I've never called a man that before

but its the truth

closing my eyes

trying to remember you

yah lips

those freckles

your fragrance

I know I love you

placing my hand over a broken heart

you help me to mend it

shivering

remembering these kisses to my neck

my back

my butt

giggling

you make me go deeper

into myself

pouring out a self worth I never knew existed

you spoil me

with yah presence

because

you're beautiful

Inspiration

watching the wind moving leaves

letting air blow my hair

needing inspiration

so I sit by the window

watching the beauty of god

I see beauty in people

but its nothing like nature

insects flying by

huddled up in swarms

taking in the summer

cant believe I hate those creatures

watching their innocence

causes me to change my mind

birds chirping

flying by

if I were deaf

id miss out on the songs

they sing

if I were blind I wouldn’t notice

the colorful wings

a smile appears on my face

as my mind slowly begins to find

INSPIRATION


Saturday, May 7, 2011

They Threw a Pen at me

they threw a pen at me

and I almost got offended

it was in slow motion

the top hit my chest then slowly bounced to the ground before me

before me

there were greats

some alive

some aint

all of whom I adore

of whom I appreciate

of whom I wish to reciprocate

with my own little twist that is

so I thanked them for throwing that pen

ever since

I been pouring out my soul on paper

emotions after emotions

enriching the essence of what we call a poem

I make my words speak

lift up off the page n carry you like a magic carpet

cant you feel the vibrations?

the rhythm after every line

every time you read my work

don’t yah heart skip a beat

sometimes when I write I get goosebumps

smiling at the words on my paper

because I know they came from me

I birth them out of my womb

put them together with a little creativity

and formed POETRY

so thank you

whoever threw that pen at me

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

If I couldn’t write.

if I couldn’t write

I think I would be a crack head

that would be my high

but then I think I would over dose

because that high wouldn’t be able to compensate

if I couldn’t write that is

and if I couldn’t find the words to say

I think I would become mute

crying myself to sleep

night after night

not being able to perfect a perfect piece

I would hate the air I breath

probably go on a killing spree

try to read every word in the dictionary

if I couldn't write that is

I would feel empty

captured by whoever would take such a thing

I would give in

be defeated

probably even commit suicide

if I couldn't’t write that is..

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bleed Heart

bleeding heart of a dying love
i need you
often worshipped you
my love
as my king
who you deserved to be
i adore you
like my fave things
often i close my eyes
with the desires of you
on my mind
and deep within my soul
i yearn for you to be in me
love isn't a good word
because these feelings are deeper
come here daddy
i need you
the thought of those beautiful lips
drive me crazy
but what i see in you
you don't see in me
and i hate it
thinking of ways to convince you
to make me your lady
debating
like
should i just walk away
give up on these feelings
within me
or continue until your convinced
convinced i am the woman of your dreams
the one who you need
the girl
trapped so deep in your heart
that its her you breath

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Beautiful

I was beautiful when I was in your arms

feeling your smooth skin

feeling warm

cozy and vibrant

I was beautiful when you looked at me with those eyes

the warmed id ever seen

the gaze of lust you shared

we shared

but I was beautiful

I was beautiful when I was in your presence

or when I talked to you

I was beautiful when we were apart

because my mind thought of you

I was beautiful when I was lonely

the Pisces mind dreamed of you

no matter what I did

I was beautiful because you loved me...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Want You To Myself

I cant love you like I want you

kiss you like I want to

confide in you like I want to

ride for you like I want to

I cant treat you like you're mine

I have to share you

I cant fuss at you

be mad at you

I have to let you be

let you do your thing

let you live your life

let you chose your wife

I cant console you like I want to

tell you your wrong when you think you're right

I cant do these things

your not mines

and I'm not yours

so

I pretend the flirting is cool

and that it doesn't bother me

I pretend that I'm a patient person

and I really believe your gonna come to me

I pretend this smile is real

and that I jus wanna see you happy

when

I want you happy with me

loving me

bragging about me

telling them hoes about me

me

me

me

and I know we don't always get what we want

I taken that into consideration

but fuck it when it comes to them jawns

I'm truly hating

don't want to rush a relationship

I just want you to myself

FALLEN FOR YOU

I try not to think of you

blocking you out of my memory

forgetting the way we kissed

or the way you used to touch me

I swear I'm in love with you

or

its the closet I've ever been

watching myself go through the motions

when all I wanna do is win your heart

what do you do

when the man you love

is not running to be with you

consistent nights of missing you

only to realize that its not mutual

I need you

like the way I breathe this air

I hate to share

thinking bout the many girls on you

even though I shouldn't care

and I cant help it

kuz it hurts

forcing myself to put this wall up

but with you its so hard

I am 100 percent vulnerable

ready to be at your command

ready to be submissive to you

I apologize

for being this thirsty

for being so easy

for being nothing like any other girl

but

I love you

and I'm not afraid to say it

you got me all the way fallen for you...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This is Where I Fell In Love

I used to look into those eyes to find comfort

softest I've ever seen n life

I think that’s where I fell in love

softest kisses to the most beautiful lips ever

I still giggle like a kid

to think that the most beautiful man

is right here before me

the touch of yah beautiful hands on my body

sends the moistest sensation down to my labia's

trying not to be shy around you

mimicking things I've seen on TV

did I tell you it was like my first time

the most beautiful conversations

coming from the sweetest voice id ever heard

your so melodic

the rhythm of yah words sends vibrations through my chest

so maybe this is where I fell in love

the softest moans

escaped from my lips

our bodies connected like

we were made for each other

when I touch you

I'm happy

the way my heart skips every other beat

and how sometimes I forget to breath around you

damn I want you forever

if I could make you immortal

I would

holding on this your beauty in the palm of my hand

and never letting go


Monday, July 25, 2011

A Letter To My Fave Man

I want you in my life for a long time, needless to say I don’t think you're gonna be around for too much longer and it hurts my heart. So many people love you and we all pretty much feel the same, but no one feels like I do. You are the air I breathe, my rock the sun to my galaxy there is no me without you. Your presence defines my existence. You were the first boy I fell in love with, someone told me my father was supposed to be the first man I fell in love with but nope it was you. Whenever I am down you know just how to make me smile. There have been plenty of disappointments in our lives but when everyone else turned their backs I could ALWAYS look up to see you there. Sometimes I list you right next to god, not saying that you are equal to him but you are just as important in my life, number 2 just doesn't sound good for you so I say god is number one and you are number one in a half! I need you man and it scares me, because I do not know how my life would be if there were no you. I would not be able to live! Promise me that you will do the best that you can with yah life with your heath because I need you in my life for years and years to come. This is why think I am a writer!

I am not a poet

I can not make up poems from the dome

or recite In front of a crowd

I do not attend poetry slams or jams

nor do I have a rhythm when I write

so I am not a poet

I love to free write

and make words fit together

or

create imeragy in my head

but I am not a poet

I have not written books

or started one

I am not a fan of any other poets

I don't want to be like Maya Angelou

or Langston Hughes

because I am not a poet

I do not compete with others on face book

or share my writings on my blogs all the time

I am very sub conscience

but this is because I am not a poet

I have entered my work on poetry.com

and thought I won

I have awoken in the middle of the night to write my thoughts

I don't write In notebooks

because I am not a poet..

I just like to write

I do not want to be organized

nor ashamed of any topics

I refuse to limit myself

and not make mistakes

I will be famous one day

but I chose to take my time

I am not inspired but other people

only myself because

I am not a poet..

I am a WRITER...

Never really appreciated hip hop in its entirety until the radio began playing music that I didn’t personally care for. It was then that I realized that just like when my parents were younger hip hop is changing, yet I don't necessarily like the change. We are living in a time where sucky lyrics over a hot beat or a song bout partying will sell over the song that's about social change. I never really appreciated the great pioneers until these new era lil wayne fans began calling him the GREATEST RAPPER ALIVE, when there are legends like jay z nas eminen dre and so on still alive. Its not my job to change any ones opinion but what is it that you are really basing your opinion on? Lil wayne fans say that lil wayne is the greatest, and thats fine because he is truly talented. However, how many of these lil wayne fans knew the lil wayne before the young money era? Before hot boys? How many of them know that baby and manny fresh were writing most of his earlier songs or that he had other ghost writers. Not that many. So how are you a fan? I am laughed at because I am a die hard Bow Wow fan and according to a lot of people he is not a hip hop artist. However, how many rappers to date have been in the game for 15 years and are still in their primes? How many rappers have successfully made the transition from a child star to an adult star? From rapper to actor? From rapper to entrepreneur. All I'm saying is before you sleep on Shad Gregory Moss, respect his hustle and his ambition as an artist. I love hip hop when it was used to tell the world how the inner city kids were feeling. When hip hop was used as a platform to bringing communities together. I miss hip hop when it was more educational than it was provocative. I remember when hip hop artists did not have to sell their souls to the industries to become famous or for their music to be heard. But we get artist like wiz nicki and wale who have been underground and are basically forced to change who they are to become mainstream. I remember when I did not have to go to mixtape websites to hear a good cd. I miss those days. But I also thank today's hip hop for helping me to appreciate the hip hop that I grew to love the sub conscious writers like mos def tribe called quest and common. To great legends like tupac biggie and nas. Thank you mainstream America for helping me show my love to the beautiful hip hop! This is why I think I am a writer!

You're Beautiful


I've never called a man that before

but its the truth

closing my eyes

trying to remember you

yah lips

those freckles

your fragrance

I know I love you

placing my hand over a broken heart

you help me to mend it

shivering

remembering these kisses to my neck

my back

my butt

giggling

you make me go deeper

into myself

pouring out a self worth I never knew existed

you spoil me

with yah presence

because

you're beautiful

What an u waiting for

Blurry visions of a man that I like

cute with the pretty eyes

I see him in my dreams

doesn’t even have to be when I sleep

I picture him when im walking down the street

basically when im doing anything

see he's always on my mind

my little king

I been crushin on him like a lil school girl

checking his facebook

wondering if he ever tweets of me

picturing us holding hands, kissing

the lil romantic things

even as I think about it now I smile

I cant help but to blush when im around him

damn he make me all mushy

and I HATE

cause I haven’t felt this way In a long time

sometimes I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me

because my heart will remember what he said

then my mind will say he's lying to me

what am I to do?

If there wasn’t room for potential

I wouldn’t be wasting my time

but is it mutual?

Here I go beating myself over the head for a man

gods marvelous creatures

who are so simple and yet so complex

I wanna know what your thinking

and I hate that you dont tell me

I hate that you talk to other girls

when you should be giving all yah time to me

I tell myself to be patient

you waited this long to meet him

you can wait more to have him

so tell me my patience are not in vain

when people see you

I want then to know my name

yeah thats Quin's man

or thats _____ girl

I know I over analyze things so that will forever be my downfall

I just want to know

what are you waiting for

sigh

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

too focused on money

What if we lived in a world where money did not exist? The way we got what we needed was us working for it like we did now. We would all get payed on the amount of physical work we did as well as the importance of the occupation. Athletes would not get paid more than doctors, actually any sport would be just recreational it would be volunteer to go pro. There would be no such thing as famous people. Everyone would be equal. We would still have a democracy with a president but he will not get paid for sitting on his ass, he too would have to physically work for his position. I say this to pretty much say we have let money define us. Money is the way we live. If you are broke no one wants anything to do with you. What happened to looking within someone? “Imagine me living in a world with no insecurities and im finally happy can you imagine me.” That kirk franklin song comes to mind as I sit here asking myself what do I look for in a man, I should be asking a man what does he look for in me. I jus wish we lived in a society where money and beauty wasn't above brains and personality. A world where ignorance was not bliss and people actually thought about the things they said to other people. I hope im alive to see the wold like this SOME DAY. This is why I think I am a writer.

one kiss

Warm sensations

from the lip to the spine

school girl giggles and

blood rushing to the pelvic area

one kiss

sweet

lustful

innocent

exotic

erotic

sexy in a sense

shivers taking over the body

goosebumps forms on the outside of the skin

one touch

vibrations penetrating the brain

triggering sensory sensations

to every part of the body

sweet moans

me gusta papi

yo quiero un beso mami

making sweet music

with every thrust

trust

forceful yet gentle thrusts

slowly

slowly

deep

and it feels

as sweet as a kiss to the collar bone

as gentle as a baby’s bottom

as right as a right turn

and it began with

one kiss


Fuck looking for Love

Looking for someone to love you, for you, seems to be as hard as finding the queen ant in a million ants. Sometimes, I sit and ask myself am I looking for love or is it something deeper than that? I almost had love, I believe. One time, when I was 18, I lived with a man whom I thought I loved, and thought loved me back. Somewhere in that year and a half we were together the communication was skewed and this love seemed to be real dangerous. I decided to let him go, he hated me, but I hated myself for not leaving sooner. No one should have to put up with verbal abuse, and we were verbally abusive to each other, so maybe we were bad for each other. I still think about him now, almost 3 years later. Sometimes I ask myself the infamous question, what if?!? Then I have to stop myself, and Beyonce's irreplaceable comes to mind, particularly the part that goes, “you must not know about me you must not know bout me, I can have another you in a minute matter face he'll be here any minute baby.” I identify with the hook because I think as young women we beat ourselves up! This is our prime! These are the years we are supposed to be ENJOYING life, not stressing over the next niggah and I use that word in its correct tense! So next time I find myself looking for LOVE I will remember my worth and remember that I don’t need to chase love because my god got me! This is why I think I am a writer!

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Memories

all i have left are memories

the blood that drips from my broken heart

is fresh

healing no time soon

i tape it with duct tape and band aids

swabbing it with cotton swabs

looking in the mirror at a beautiful face

etched into confusion

pain

looking hurtful

looking in the corner of the eye where tears once formed

im all dried up

matted hair at the top of my head

wish i could put a comb to it

but your gone

and you were the only one who mattered

the only one able to make this frown

turn into that smile that was once beautiful

the girl that was once boastful

hinders guilt inside her soul at all the people who were cut off

for you

the friends that turned to enemies

the associates who hate me

time wasted

of beautiful lies and

hopeful promises

which only ended up being labeled deceit

the pitiful things you told me

thinking i was your future

when i was only the next bitch

bitch

a word i would never call myself

and now somehow defines me

a positive situation baring the heat of hell

and all i have left are the memories...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dating Quintasha

These last couple of days my heart has been aching with love. I want to pour it out but as I look around I see no one worthy of it. IM not depressed, not unhappy, just looking for someone to love me. Funny, I always talk about how I want love and I want a relationship, God is so good that he puts certain things in your path to kind of intervene. I was listening to lose myself by Marsha Ambrosius, this time actually LISTENING to her words ahe says, "Couldn't tell me I was in love when I needed it
When, all I ever wanted was love. Should a told me I was worth receiving it But all I ever wanted was love" and something in me snapped. I am capable of loving anyone but too many times I have "loved" people only to be disappointed, only to wind up hating them when the day before we were just in love. I have realized that I was giving love and giving all of myself to my relationships but I wasn't receiving love. i was allowing myself to be drained yet who was loving Quintasha! It is selfish to say that no one loves me but until I tell myself that I am WORTHY of love lonely is how I will always feel. Although I do want a relationship and would like to fall in love, I realize that I need to date ME. I need to love on myself, and compliment myself so when it comes time to love the next person I can love them and I can recognize if they are returning the love. I will tell myself that I am worthy of love.. and this is why I think I am a wri
ter!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Poetry

you are my lover
the air i breathe
the dream i dream
you are the mate
to my soul
the one who i'm supposed
to look for
but you always been there
today
you're relevant
today i need you
you are the bones
within my skin
the organs within
a confidant
more than a best friend
i couldn't live
without you
you are the calm
to my storm
oh how i yearn for you
in my sleep
i lust for you
in my dreams
in reality
you are all i need!

You're Beautiful

I've never called a man that before

but its the truth

closing my eyes

trying to remember you

yah lips

those freckles

your fragrance

I know I love you

placing my hand over a broken heart

you help me to mend it

shivering

remembering these kisses to my neck

my back

my butt

giggling

you make me go deeper

into myself

pouring out a self worth I never knew existed

you spoil me

with yah presence

because

you're beautiful

Inspiration

watching the wind moving leaves

letting air blow my hair

needing inspiration

so I sit by the window

watching the beauty of god

I see beauty in people

but its nothing like nature

insects flying by

huddled up in swarms

taking in the summer

cant believe I hate those creatures

watching their innocence

causes me to change my mind

birds chirping

flying by

if I were deaf

id miss out on the songs

they sing

if I were blind I wouldn’t notice

the colorful wings

a smile appears on my face

as my mind slowly begins to find

INSPIRATION


Saturday, May 7, 2011

They Threw a Pen at me

they threw a pen at me

and I almost got offended

it was in slow motion

the top hit my chest then slowly bounced to the ground before me

before me

there were greats

some alive

some aint

all of whom I adore

of whom I appreciate

of whom I wish to reciprocate

with my own little twist that is

so I thanked them for throwing that pen

ever since

I been pouring out my soul on paper

emotions after emotions

enriching the essence of what we call a poem

I make my words speak

lift up off the page n carry you like a magic carpet

cant you feel the vibrations?

the rhythm after every line

every time you read my work

don’t yah heart skip a beat

sometimes when I write I get goosebumps

smiling at the words on my paper

because I know they came from me

I birth them out of my womb

put them together with a little creativity

and formed POETRY

so thank you

whoever threw that pen at me

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

If I couldn’t write.

if I couldn’t write

I think I would be a crack head

that would be my high

but then I think I would over dose

because that high wouldn’t be able to compensate

if I couldn’t write that is

and if I couldn’t find the words to say

I think I would become mute

crying myself to sleep

night after night

not being able to perfect a perfect piece

I would hate the air I breath

probably go on a killing spree

try to read every word in the dictionary

if I couldn't write that is

I would feel empty

captured by whoever would take such a thing

I would give in

be defeated

probably even commit suicide

if I couldn't’t write that is..