Fuck looking for Love

Looking for someone to love you, for you, seems to be as hard as finding the queen ant in a million ants. Sometimes, I sit and ask myself am I looking for love or is it something deeper than that? I almost had love, I believe. One time, when I was 18, I lived with a man whom I thought I loved, and thought loved me back. Somewhere in that year and a half we were together the communication was skewed and this love seemed to be real dangerous. I decided to let him go, he hated me, but I hated myself for not leaving sooner. No one should have to put up with verbal abuse, and we were verbally abusive to each other, so maybe we were bad for each other. I still think about him now, almost 3 years later. Sometimes I ask myself the infamous question, what if?!? Then I have to stop myself, and Beyonce's irreplaceable comes to mind, particularly the part that goes, “you must not know about me you must not know bout me, I can have another you in a minute matter face he'll be here any minute baby.” I identify with the hook because I think as young women we beat ourselves up! This is our prime! These are the years we are supposed to be ENJOYING life, not stressing over the next niggah and I use that word in its correct tense! So next time I find myself looking for LOVE I will remember my worth and remember that I don’t need to chase love because my god got me! This is why I think I am a writer!